I am working on a very cool project called Change Everything. It is an online community for people in the Lower Mainland and Victoria to start changing things in their lives, communities and the world. Check it out...

Again, its been a while. It has been a difficult while. I find myself at the beginning of a long journey and like some travellers when they first set out, the unknown length and nature of the journey daunts me. Yet at the same time, I find myself feeling that anything is possible. And 'anything' means more to me now that it ever has. Quite literally anything. Many things in my life seem to have died or be dying. Friendships and relationships that werent working, work that wasnt fulfilling. And the most scary death of all is the dealth of thing that was up until now, able to tolerate situations that didn't feel right. This leaves a big empty space and a confused Kate who must now learn a different way of living, of being led by deeply felt sense. Jeez.

In feeling into how to be in this time of transition into this new way of being led, I thought of these goals and wanted to share them here.

Personal: I will be aware about my intentions, and the power they have to be seeds of change. Change is happening all the time. A widespread phenomenon I notice amongst my friends, people in my community and even globally, is that we spend a lot of time talking about how important it is for us to make change happen. People seem almost in a panic about it, "hurry up we've got to change things, now!" I think we forget that everything in our universe is constantly in a state of change regardless of what we say, think or do. It dawned on me yesterday that the remarkable thing about being a conscious human being is that we have the power to intend. And intentions are powerful things. I will spend more time considering the life I want to create for myself and set clear intentions, knowing that these intentions have the power to change reality itself.

Community: I will share my ideas with my community, even if that feels scary. I have had many ideas about ways things in my community could be done differently, making it a better place, but I have held back out of fear. Fear that my ideas will be rejected, fear that I am the only one who sees things that way, or that I would be thought of as crazy. Knowing that you have support to go out on a limb can help you to let go of your fear andpush forward. But it strikes me that we don't always get offered this luxury. Sometimes the someone who has to 'go first' is you. Recently I started speaking up in my community about things that I felt were not right. I was afraid at first, that people would think I was a whiner, orthat I was wrong. I was even afraid that I would be ignored. But what actually happened when I spoke about what I saw, was that people thanked me for 'going first' saying they they hadn't been able to find the courage to say something, even though they had really wanted to. Pretty soon, there was a whole circle taking place of people who felt inspired by my bravery to speak up. Sometimes it is your turn to 'go first', I will stop shying away when it seems like my turn, for myself and for the good of my community.

Globally: I will remember that in order to make meaningful change globally,I have to be clear about my personal intentions.Realising how connected my personal intentions are to my actions and living with a deep sense that that my actions are to be ones that are brave and honest, I am starting to get a sense of my role in terms of global change.That old saying "Think globally, act locally" actually means something. In fact it is critical that we get really good at the second part before the global change we all seem to be intuiting can truly begin to take place. There is a trap that we can fall into that is called, 'now I must make you do things my way because I know better'. This trap has caused wars (often over religion). It creates an imaginary divide, an us and them. I know how to listen for what is true in my own life even if I dont always like whatI learn. It might be that I find that I find myself making decisions that seem inconvenient to me, leaving a familiar relationship or job, but my struggle is to stay true to what is true for me instead of trying to get others on board. To help the global changes that seem to want so badly to happen, I will focus on my own intuition letting that guide the intentions I set. I will allow my actions to inspire others, but not judge those who are doing their own work.

One of the projects that I am working on right now involves the concept of "Social Justice". As a starting place I am doing some research to figure out what the heck people mean when they say the words "Social Justice" and what kind of work is being done on the "social Justice" front. What I am finding is exciting and frustrating completely simultaneously.

Since time began, there have always been people who have devoted their lives to loving the people in their communities by working to alleviate violence, hunger, homelessness & illness. Sure it is a testament to the human spirit that this work gets done, but really to me it is really not surprising - at our core, we are made of love. So it is actually not all that astounding to me that we express it - it is what we are made to do.

What I do wonder about is why it seems that we have never stopped to really think about WHY these things are happening in the first place. So I get excited when I learn that there is this buzz around examining and addressing the "root causes" of these things. The frustrating part is that saying we are going to look at "root causes" actually means something to me and as far as I can see, addressing "root causes" is not something that needs yet another initiative with a 5 year plan, another campaign or another set of policies.

By my calculations, there is one "root cause". It is the crux of our suffering. Fear. It manifests in countless ways, violence, greed, people being so knotted up that they dont listen to one another, people being so frightened that they dont express love for one another. And until we decide to stop holding on for dear life to everything around us, we will be choosing to allow fear to become the very fabric of our experience, blinding us, harming us, causing us to harm each other.

Well it's not a surprise that I have not sent out a "Kate's thought for the Day" in a while. I was busy happily falling asleep. Funny how happiness will lull us to sleep if we are not mindful, if we are not rooted in a set of rituals that remind us of who and what we are. I have a pattern of allowing myself to get so cozy that I stop paying attention and I become lost somewhere under that warm blanket. Before I know it I am all twisted up in it, too hot and wanting to throw it off me - get some air. I have awoken this time, with a start yes, but also with a new clarity and eagerness to sharpen my ability to stay awake while enjoying warmth and happiness. To learn how to cover myself with the blanket, but not become lost in its folds. I am excited to learn this the same way I am excited to learn the piano in January. It is something I already know, I just have to practice.

Here is my thought for right now:

In the midst of chaos and struggle, I am going beyond the wall of what I dont like, what does not feel comfortable. Fear and anger have served to awaken me but I know they will not sustain me. I will keep my heart open. I will engage in life, not as the idea, not as something I invent, but as the thing I am discovering.

Surrender is absolutely necessary.

For most of my life, I have wondered when I would become lovable, when I would feel truly safe and free and happy. A sort of cloud is beginning to lift and I am starting to see how these things have existed all along. They have always been here ready for me to accept them into my experience. But I didn't feel entitled to them so I refused them entry at the door. I am working on learning how to change the way I approach this experience (life) - so I may truly feel entitled to these things - to allow myself to receive them because I am really the only one who can.
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"...offer prayer to your uninvited guest. Only then will your house be blessed."
-Harry Manx

"Life is difficult. This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths. It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it. Once we truly know that life is difficult - once we truly understand and accept it - then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters."

Scott Peck - The Road Less Traveled